Who writes this stuff?

Yesterday our e-mail queues were assaulted by several e-mails which we believe to be pranks. Please see a sampling below and let us know if you have any clues about the perpetrator…

“i think you guys should have a mascot or something: BiblioMan. and he could visit classrooms and stuff, always fighting ignorance with books. like maybe when the villains say stupid uneducated things, he just thumps them over the head with a book, and they fall down stunned (nobody ever dies in BiblioMan). or maybe he just slams to book closed on their faces or something. or maybe like slices their throats open with a paper cut, but maybe that wouldn’t be so good for the kids.

he could wear a cape that was like agiant dustcover, kind of like angel wings. i don’t think he should wear tights, though – that’s so 1980s. he should be dressed in all black and have pasty skin like a devil or a vampire. he should probably should have some deep emmotional scarring and a drug habit (although it would only be aluded to, the kids wouldn’t understand that part). course, BiblioMan will have to stage his own death somewhere along the way, because all superheroes do that – maybe in a classroom in arkansas or something – lay low for a few months, but then he can com backe to life somewhere in idaho or madison, wisconsin.

haven’t given much thought to his love life at this point, but it seems she should probably be like a librarian or something, with some kind of devil gaze freezing stare superpower. she probably lives at home alone with a bunch of cats, most of them black.

you could even have your own manga series, maybe.

just a tip.

blake f.”

and …

“I have a complaint to make about Biblio.com. Because of you, I almost lost my job the other day. We’re not supposed to shop during work hours, but everybody does it, you know. And I was careful to turn down the sound – all that stuff. But I never thought I’d have to try to cover up the smell coming from my computer all because I visited a d*mn website.

What are you people trying to pull?!? How in the h@ll do you think making your website smell like unwashed feet is going to get people o buy books from you? I mean, mildew, maybe, but FEET? Good grief! So next thing I know everyone is looking around the cubicle at me, people are grabbing the super and saying stuff about that funky smell and pointing in my direction. Fortunately, I was quick enough in thinking to turn off my internet and throw my jacket around it to stifle the smell, and the super kind of sniffed around then walked off with a funny look on his face. I think he knew it was me, but couldn’t prove it and for that you are all d*mn lucky! But I can prove it in court, because you can still smell the feet smell on my jacket and I haven’t worn it since.

I will never, ever shop at Biblio.com again! Not unloess I was looking for used third world sandals or something – NOT! And I will tell all my friends on Facebook, too!

Barbara Blakehauer”

PS: If you like the BiblioMan idea, let us know. If your computer smells like feet, we’re pretty sure its not our fault.

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